Saturday, August 27, 2011

Off-Topic: Excerpts from Stonehenge Management's big F*** all of You email


Roseland Properties is truly a caring, concerned property management company, whose first and top priority is the comfort and safety of their tenants.  Observe:

“If the authorities issue a hurricane warning for the area, the management team will leave the community.”

“It is important to remember that hurricanes and all associated weather and tidal conditions are natural disasters. Management cannot be responsible for any resulting property damage, interruption of utilities/services, or bodily injury.”

“We would like to remind everyone that the use of personal portable generators is not permitted” 

“Given the potential for driving rain during a hurricane, please take the steps necessary to prevent damage within your apartment home, i.e. dry water around windows, blinds, and window sills to reduce the potential for mildew.  Also, don’t forget to empty your refrigerator before evacuating or at the point power loss exceeds 24 hours.  The refrigerator must be emptied at the point power loss exceeds 24 hours, otherwise the refrigerator could be damaged resulting in financial responsibility to the resident up to and including the replacement of the refrigerator.”

Do not tape any windows. Windows may be boarded from the outside only.  Repairs needed from any damage caused to the building by the resident from boarding windows will be the financial responsibility of the resident.”

“Pursuant to your lease agreement, all residents are required to carry renter's insurance.”

“Please wipe all moisture from windows and doors.”

“Be patient.  It takes a team effort to clean up after a storm.  Responsibility for the cleanup falls to numerous local, state and federal agencies.” 

“As you can imagine, many of the vendors and contractors we depend on to provide parts, labor, or technical assistance may be stretched to the limit. Because of this our response to service requests in you apartment home may be delayed.”

“Please take the time be as prepared as possible.”

So, basically, "we're getting the hell out of here," "any damage is your fault," "you'll have to pay for any damage," and "we aren't responsible for doing anything".

Classy.

No comments:

Post a Comment